earfood : the messenger, linkin park
current location : her's
currently reading : none :)
"sometimes, smaller dreams have to be pushed aside for the larger ones to come" -the ultimate fuckery that i've learned the hard way.
okay. i've been good. very good in fact i've been so unbelievably good that saying this actually sounds wrong. for once, im actually going to class and doing what im supposed to do on time, every time. also, i havent been drinking as much as i used to anymore. plus, my cursings have been greatly reduced to what a sane person would say, adequate and appropriate. and the best part ? i've been nicotine-sober for 9 weeks!
it wasnt easy, trust me. at times, i feel like digging out my own lungs and chew on it. there were countless of sleepless nights, body itchings and all the other withdrawal symptoms. there was time where i felt that i could give anything for a puff. all in all, i couldnt take it at all :(
but i insisted that i will not give in to my lust for nicotine. and just like that, i left the world i once knew and everything that comes with it behind. every single damn thing, swept under the rug like a pile of dust. a pile of useless and disgusting dust. it was one the hardest thing for me to do at the time and also the only thing i had to do. it wasnt easy at all for me.
thankfully, she was there with me. side by side to help me through one of the hardest journeys of my life. her unconditional love and advice were there every moment of it. she did not give up on me at all so i wasnt fair if i were to given up on her.
and now, a few weeks later, i never felt better. at times it didnt even register in my mind that i was a smoker once too. just the mere thought of it disgusts me now. i feel so much better now that im free from my past. and i couldnt be happier knowing that she still here, enjoying the present and planning for a future, with me, hand in hand.
i guess when life leaves us blind, love really keeps us kind eh ? ;)
okay. i've been good. very good in fact i've been so unbelievably good that saying this actually sounds wrong. for once, im actually going to class and doing what im supposed to do on time, every time. also, i havent been drinking as much as i used to anymore. plus, my cursings have been greatly reduced to what a sane person would say, adequate and appropriate. and the best part ? i've been nicotine-sober for 9 weeks!
it wasnt easy, trust me. at times, i feel like digging out my own lungs and chew on it. there were countless of sleepless nights, body itchings and all the other withdrawal symptoms. there was time where i felt that i could give anything for a puff. all in all, i couldnt take it at all :(
but i insisted that i will not give in to my lust for nicotine. and just like that, i left the world i once knew and everything that comes with it behind. every single damn thing, swept under the rug like a pile of dust. a pile of useless and disgusting dust. it was one the hardest thing for me to do at the time and also the only thing i had to do. it wasnt easy at all for me.
thankfully, she was there with me. side by side to help me through one of the hardest journeys of my life. her unconditional love and advice were there every moment of it. she did not give up on me at all so i wasnt fair if i were to given up on her.
and now, a few weeks later, i never felt better. at times it didnt even register in my mind that i was a smoker once too. just the mere thought of it disgusts me now. i feel so much better now that im free from my past. and i couldnt be happier knowing that she still here, enjoying the present and planning for a future, with me, hand in hand.
i guess when life leaves us blind, love really keeps us kind eh ? ;)
