the talk of the cock

i've always wanted to be a columnist if i grow up.....(notice the rather irrelevant conditional. due to the nature of how i've chosen to live my life, the adverse would be irrelevant as well, but what the heck right?)

maybe write about cars -performance parts, tried-tested-proven-over-the-head-theories and eventually strip jeremy clarkson's column off the sunday times-, and jokes -sarcasm! which is unfortunately not something that i am good at. maybe people just dont get me- or even maybe something about law -considering the fact that i'll be doing law for the next 5 years or so so why not? anyway, i'll probably turn the facts into a burlesque of justice when elements of heavy sarcasm were introduced-... 

even when i was 8, when half of the class wanted to be doctors, i wanted to be a writer. as a columnist. or maybe even publish my own books if i get the chance. (notice the rather appropriate conditional. this is due to the fact that the adverse is really irrelevant, not to mention preposterous!) 

but recently, i was told to give up writing (directly, but not as a whole). i was daunted! i mean how can i let go writing? its just wrong. later on, to add insult to injury, he majestically proceeds to claim that my writings are grotesque and awful choices of words, and utterly ridiculous. and just like that, my heart sank. he used to be an avid reader of my blog and now, such product of air and vocal chords interactions, like the tip of a spear, dipped in deadly poison, pierced through my heart exceedingly. 

truth be told, i really adore fine writings very very much. as they would say, "a picture paints a thousand words". i'd say, "a word can write out the heart of the painter". 

i've started this blog out since november 2008 and posted over 200+ posts and over time, gained the trust of 16 wonderful and awesome people, who subsequently writes just as good as me, better even! over 500+ comments were received & replied and the total unique visitors that found their way to this humble site racked up to 17000+.. i know. my blog doesn't really have amazing vital stats but heck, its still up and running.

used to be a time where bloghoppers would come and say stuff like, "hey your blog so not popular why go buy a .com? act like damn popular only, &%$#*!"

writing is really not something easy. when you write for people to read, you dont feel the satisfaction, bliss, atonement, fulfillment, relief and more importantly, achievement. when you write what you wanna write, people fuck you, hard. jesus.

recently i came across an awesome blogger who wrote in his blog, "writing is not for the fainthearted". 

HOW FUCKING TRUE!!!

getaway 2.0

as the claws of a stranded bat in the attic battling violently against the soft sad vulnerable plywood ceilings 10 feet above my head, i flip the pages of the latest edition of the newsweek expeditiously. continuous reading follows on with stock market analysis which i have no absolute understanding on and something about eschatology pops out of somewhere between a vodka ad page and something about the NPT summit. all sorts of post-apocalyptic stuff and the evolution of god, and how it changed the world. the sound continues. deeply annoyed with all the screeching overhead, i decide that its in the best interest of the poor fella and mine if i just go to sleep...


bad move.


the screeching continues and its really beginning to annoy me to the point of frustration. so again, in the best interest of it and mine, i decide that throwing the sony ericsson w810i to the ceiling isn't a good move either so i plug into my ipod and tune it to shuffle. besides, i cant really sleep just yet -its 1.45 in the morning, not 4. teenagers dont sleep at 1.45 in the morning. its wrong, both morally and ethically-


then there's the story of how life can really be so unpredictably predictable sometimes...


hypocritical, no? how can something be so unpredictable when you are the one who determines the course of your life, with your actions (and sometimes, inactions)? so now, you're telling me that i do this to make that happen but in the end, that will not happen. is that it? is that what you're saying? stop messing with my head here but it seems to me like you're a moron. its blunt and simple, life does not fuck with us. life deprive us of what we need and what we want. its us who blamed life for fucking with us when after all, all the blames are on us, us alone, period. we simply did not work hard enough for what we want, need. 


there's no higher power here. no destiny. no angels and demons and the Great Influence (Constantine) here. its all bullshit. some psychobabble bullshit invented by people thousands of years ago so that we, stuck here believe in something that does not exist. 


they said that 8 out of 10 people believe that our lives are controlled by something. destiny, faith etc etc. i'd say - bullshit.


when we worked hard for something and in the end, didnt get it, they'll say that its not bound to happen. its not fated to happen. well, its not true that we don't get what we want. its just that we don't see it there when we actually have it. open up your eyes. you live to see better. not the other way around


.....for after all life is an ephemeral thing, what i'd like to call - the perfect imperfection, 2.0 (upgraded)

in need of a detente

in some parts of the world, a long long time ago, disputes were resolved by mutual agreement after a careful consult to the elders. prior to the agreement, both parties will each send a representative up the hills where the elders reside and seek advice from them. also to figure out outcome of the issue - who is right and who is wrong and with him, he will bring along facts and figures, nature of the disputes and pleas written on sheets and sheets of dried animal skin. this act alone usually takes up to a year or so and another year for the young messenger to return to the village and during this period of time, either parties were obliged to stay away from one another, not to make any contact whatsoever. and when finally the young messenger returns and the advice from the elders was passed on, both parties will accept the final verdict perfunctory, without hesitations, no questions asked. or else, their heads will be cut off by the opposition and that act, will not be condemned by anyone, not even by the elders.


today, we resolve a dispute by throwing curses, lighting up opposition buildings on fire and nuking their cities.


jesus.

10 minutes talk

...perhaps i would love to offer my heartfelt congratulations to the polis diraja malaysia (pdrm) for shooting innocent kids over the entire course of last week in an effort to make our streets safe again. not to mention the slaughter of a fifteen-year old in the process which resulted in a nationwide outcry, i felt somewhat safer when i was out grocery-shopping just a couple of minutes ago, fully aware of the fact that the cops are out there doing their job, dutifully. you see, the reluctance of going out due the concern of getting shot in the head on the way back sounds equally scary and the acute cravings for kitkat with such formidable proportion has taken its toll on me just a mere couple of minutes ago following an argument with a total stranger on bbm (whose PIN i gotten from a facebook fanpage) which in turn resulted in a even greater craving for kitkat. eventually the mind abnegated and the body obliged so here we go - a 10 minutes drive to the 7-11 and a kitkat bar in my hand. the best part? i didnt get shot! jesus christ, im starting to love cops! 

THIS GIRL IS SO AMAZING!

equipped with 3 iphones, amazingly lavished talents and skills, irrefutable charming personality and a whole new level of cuteness, this girl is sooo gonna be bothering me for the next 3 weeks. i've watched this video for the 67th time as i am writing this :):):):)

the danger of living with a cat

.....essentially, why choose to live with a cat in the first place? why not dogs? and what about rats, ants and pizza-stained pornographic magazines? so lets not kid ourselves shall we?  for after all, we human beings are constantly subjected to extreme stress, oppression and the dreaded loneliness that usually last for a few weeks at least before god decided to take over and chuck a whole load more of that shit on us until we've inevitably renounced living and suffer an agonizing a slow demise that usually will last at least a couple of decades. 


and this is where the cat 'steps' in. subsequently, we'd find ourselves intensely preoccupied with the mere existence of another creature sharing the apartment and much distracted by it. cats are wonderful creatures product of excellent quality quacks and some other microscopic sub-atomic particles that i cant really pronounce which is later sanctioned by god to roam the planet and be a companion to mankind and bla bla bla...


okay why live with one?


again, lets not kid ourselves - men are lonely creatures. we are very needy and our neediness never comes fulfilled. we were engineered in away that never to be appeased with anything at all and seek beautifulness everywhere. correspondingly, cats are creatures of subtle beaut and extreme elegance and hereafter, men are abundantly attracted to cats. and choose to live with one. 


cats are also mysterious. behind the sweet mewing and purring on your lap, they are working on a plan to take over the world and at the same time love you with equal proportion. also, we are constantly intrigued by its multi-face demeanor ability that capable of switching veneers in a nanosecond. in fact, that reason alone is adequate for why men would want to live with a cat.


a cat is like a mirror image of yourself. you can stare directly into its eyes and see yourself clearly but then again, you can actually see lucifer himself hiding inside a puny bag of fur. a cat gives you the companionship, the warmth, laughter and also conversation for again, men are talkative creatures. lets face it, without a cat, any man can die. it is next to impossible (its next because its one level up after the word impossible but i guess you've already figured that out) for us, men, to live without a cat. although we are fully aware of the danger, risk, exposure, insecurity and the life-long threat to your wallet, bank accounts and car.


okay now lets talk about the danger. a cat, is a crazy and yet alarming intelligent creature. believe me it will rather die that let you have it your way. a cat is selfish, easily envious and over-protective of its master if he were to spare some attention to another cat. mostly, a cat is evil. 


a cat has multiple facades (many men can only identify two, i know i do) and when amongst other cats, the two facades are brought into play - the we are all friends forever! *fuck you bitch* facade -


sometimes i really dont understand cats. why say you love some other cats to bits when you actually hate them? why say you're sorry when you're not? why bug your master for extra food, love, and care when he has given the world to you? what more can you actually expect him to give you anymore? his heart? like literally dig it out for you so you can frame it and say this is my master's heart! he's mine forever@!!! yes? no?


apart from the multifaced attitude, a cat is never a forgiving creature. they are simply not engineered to forgive...,and forget. they'll remember every damn thing ( what you said, what you wore bla bla bla) for as long as their brain matter remain intact even thought after their death. this surprisingly shocking ability of cats terrifies me alot and alot other men too when they first came in contact with these beautiful creatures. back then, we wouldnt believe anything this good in memorizing existed! 


next, cats are arrogant creatures. they dont take 'no' for an answer and certainly will not bother if you have something to say about what it is about to do. it will not tolerate your disagreement and usually erupted into a fueled argument thats gonna last for at least a week. or more? i wouldnt know, you see i've never lived with a cat :)


lastly, a cat is a very manipulative creature. they without a doubt possessed very good abilities in twisting facts and figures to gain your trust, attention and love. all in the name of fighting for all rights. rights my ass. 


in short, a cat is a deadly creature. it can kill you and love you at the same time but we, men, need to live with one eventually. so, try not to piss your cat off if you wanna witness tomorrow's sunrise.


again, to all the cats out there, we're only human. dont expect too much from us, pleaseeeeee