the danger of living with a cat

.....essentially, why choose to live with a cat in the first place? why not dogs? and what about rats, ants and pizza-stained pornographic magazines? so lets not kid ourselves shall we?  for after all, we human beings are constantly subjected to extreme stress, oppression and the dreaded loneliness that usually last for a few weeks at least before god decided to take over and chuck a whole load more of that shit on us until we've inevitably renounced living and suffer an agonizing a slow demise that usually will last at least a couple of decades. 


and this is where the cat 'steps' in. subsequently, we'd find ourselves intensely preoccupied with the mere existence of another creature sharing the apartment and much distracted by it. cats are wonderful creatures product of excellent quality quacks and some other microscopic sub-atomic particles that i cant really pronounce which is later sanctioned by god to roam the planet and be a companion to mankind and bla bla bla...


okay why live with one?


again, lets not kid ourselves - men are lonely creatures. we are very needy and our neediness never comes fulfilled. we were engineered in away that never to be appeased with anything at all and seek beautifulness everywhere. correspondingly, cats are creatures of subtle beaut and extreme elegance and hereafter, men are abundantly attracted to cats. and choose to live with one. 


cats are also mysterious. behind the sweet mewing and purring on your lap, they are working on a plan to take over the world and at the same time love you with equal proportion. also, we are constantly intrigued by its multi-face demeanor ability that capable of switching veneers in a nanosecond. in fact, that reason alone is adequate for why men would want to live with a cat.


a cat is like a mirror image of yourself. you can stare directly into its eyes and see yourself clearly but then again, you can actually see lucifer himself hiding inside a puny bag of fur. a cat gives you the companionship, the warmth, laughter and also conversation for again, men are talkative creatures. lets face it, without a cat, any man can die. it is next to impossible (its next because its one level up after the word impossible but i guess you've already figured that out) for us, men, to live without a cat. although we are fully aware of the danger, risk, exposure, insecurity and the life-long threat to your wallet, bank accounts and car.


okay now lets talk about the danger. a cat, is a crazy and yet alarming intelligent creature. believe me it will rather die that let you have it your way. a cat is selfish, easily envious and over-protective of its master if he were to spare some attention to another cat. mostly, a cat is evil. 


a cat has multiple facades (many men can only identify two, i know i do) and when amongst other cats, the two facades are brought into play - the we are all friends forever! *fuck you bitch* facade -


sometimes i really dont understand cats. why say you love some other cats to bits when you actually hate them? why say you're sorry when you're not? why bug your master for extra food, love, and care when he has given the world to you? what more can you actually expect him to give you anymore? his heart? like literally dig it out for you so you can frame it and say this is my master's heart! he's mine forever@!!! yes? no?


apart from the multifaced attitude, a cat is never a forgiving creature. they are simply not engineered to forgive...,and forget. they'll remember every damn thing ( what you said, what you wore bla bla bla) for as long as their brain matter remain intact even thought after their death. this surprisingly shocking ability of cats terrifies me alot and alot other men too when they first came in contact with these beautiful creatures. back then, we wouldnt believe anything this good in memorizing existed! 


next, cats are arrogant creatures. they dont take 'no' for an answer and certainly will not bother if you have something to say about what it is about to do. it will not tolerate your disagreement and usually erupted into a fueled argument thats gonna last for at least a week. or more? i wouldnt know, you see i've never lived with a cat :)


lastly, a cat is a very manipulative creature. they without a doubt possessed very good abilities in twisting facts and figures to gain your trust, attention and love. all in the name of fighting for all rights. rights my ass. 


in short, a cat is a deadly creature. it can kill you and love you at the same time but we, men, need to live with one eventually. so, try not to piss your cat off if you wanna witness tomorrow's sunrise.


again, to all the cats out there, we're only human. dont expect too much from us, pleaseeeeee