Facts I learned from the TV

Okay here are the facts :

On average, a growing child (aged 4-12) spends 2-4 hours a day in front of the tube. That's almost 11680 hours spent in front of the box when the child reaches the age of 12. Researcher also deduced that every hour spent in front of the tv puts a child 5 words behind a total tv-free growing child! Shit! I watched loads of tv when I was young. So in total, I'm almost 60k words behind my fellow friends who grew up without watching any tv! Now how the hell I'mma gonna catch up?!

Wait a second here. For almost too long we kept coming across articles supporting the fact that watching tv is bad for kids etc etc... Just exactly how true is that?

Perhaps tv can be educational? I did say perhaps...


Take for an instance, I know that whenever I were to get into a fight which I will be outnumbered badly, I still can take on all of them and kick their asses still as they will come to me one on one, never ever in a group of two or more. Betcha the guy who grew up without tv doesn't know that and instead, will run away and will be chased down, beaten to death!

Also, aliens exists and speak perfect English no matter where they come from! So there next time if I encounter any alien lifeforms, I can actually give directions to them to the nearest Burger King.

By watching tv, I learned that if you are handsome, blond, and at least 6 feet tall, bullets tend to miss you no matter what the circumstances are! There's absolutely no chance for a single bullet from a SMG firing at the speed of 7000 rounds a minute of hitting you! No way in hell. Unfortunately, if you look like a dork, a single bullet from any gun will kill you instantly. Also, it's almost customary for all detectives/police to visit the strip club at least once during the whole course of the movie for information. Then, the club owner will somehow refuse to talk and a few punches to his abdomen will change his mind. Next, any retiring police officer will, at any circumstances die 2-3 days before his retirement! And when the lead detective investigates his death, he will come across secret information found in his safe in his locker.

I'm glad I watched loads of tv when I was young! It might even spare me my life one day. Take for example; if one day a tiger/lion/dinosaur escaped from the zoo and is chasing me, I can always jump into a stalled car and start the engine using keys provided from the glove box/head mirror section/dashboard. If the keys don't work on the first try, don't worry. The car will start just before the tiger/lion/dinosaur reach the rear of the car! It will! The guy who grew up without watching tv definitely doesn't know that! He won't wait for it to start and  instead, jump out of the car and finally eaten by the tiger/lion/dinosaur. Cruel...

If I were ever trapped in a building, I can always crawl my way out from the ventilation ducts. They are well connected and the network is just amazing! You can basically go anyway from anyway as long as the ducts are there. This is one of the coolest facts I learned just from watching tv!

Trains and cars don't ever collide. If there's a swam of police cars chasing you, just drive towards the nearest railroad crossing and your car will miss from colliding with the train at high speed by just a mere few inches. The polices cars tailing behind will definitely be left behind. Guess the guy who grew up without tv doesn't know this trick eh? Hahaha

If someone who knows me well enough, has been working with me for quite some time points a gun at my face and pulls the trigger, there's a high chance that the chamber is empty/ the trigger is faulty/ the gun ran out of rounds/ the gun squirt water out instead. Moral of the story; FRIENDS CAN'T KILL YOU! No matter how hard they try. Apparently God doesn't allow that. The guy who grew up without tv will shit in his pants the second the gun clicks and die of heart attack.

I can always jump through fences easily as there will always be empty boxes to ease my jumpings. No shit!

After all that, I conclude that watching tv can be educational. If you know what to learn and what not to....
Here's one quick one not to; don't ever learn anything from Lost!

The producer/director/crew members are so lost that when they are at the set to film the next scene, one of the crew members ask the director, "Where are we going today? What's for today?"

The director replies, " Let's just continue whatever we left behind and go along with it. We're LOST after all"..