Beneath the wrap, there's an offering

I know i'm bad in resisting temptation when it comes to food good food. I mean, who could? Its the gluttony in us that set us apart from the others. Heh ;)

So an innocent late afternoon drive turns out to be a wondrous event after all when we decided to avenge our body needs in IceRoom, located somewhere in the nowhereness of the sleepy town Nilai...

Looked genuinely innocent eh?

Behold....

steamed lotus leaf rice

When the waitress first served this, it came to us in a wooden box that looked nothing less like a box of tissue paper. That was until we opened the lid. The very first sight of the golden grains peeping from the side of the leaves caught of attention immediately, plus the aroma. A generous portion of chicken bits added to the perfection and with a split second, nothing else in the world matter anymore ;) I like! The feeling of it - its more like finding a treasure box and then when you open it there's tons of gold or something like that...
It's like beneath the wrap, there's an offering. A huge one :)

Distractions

Short Talk : George Bailey has been given the gift we all dream of - the chance to live his life again. After suffering a heart attack at the age of 42, George is given the heart of a 19 year old - and suddenly everything changes. He is a friend to his teenage son and daughter - and not a stern Home Secretary, monitoring their every move. And suddenly he wants to change the world, just as soon as he shakes off his hangover. But George Bailey discovers that being young again is not all it is cracked up to be - and what he actually wants more than anything in the universe is to have his old life back.

More Talk : Late at night. Waiting for Rufus to come home. Kids. You know how it is. Go downstairs. Spark up another cigarette."You've got to quit," Lara shouts. From upstairs. I know. I should stop. Treating my readers like idiots. By writing in short sentences. And telegraphing the plot. But I can't.
Canteen cowboy. Pen pusher.That was me. Third generation copper. Third generation congenital heart disease. I told you. I couldn't stop. Off active duty. I tug on another cigarette. See?
"Come out on patrol," my former partner. Keith. Says. Why not? I'd better get. The heart attack. Over and done with. As soon as possible. A disturbance. A gun. A pain. Across my chest. Then nothing.
"It was a replica," Lara whispers. As I come round. In intensive care. Three days later. "You've had a major heart attack." Who would. Have thought it?
How George met Lara. How Tony lazily dropped in. The back story. Lara was a dancer in. Les Miserables. Salt-of-the earth. Working-class entertainment. Proper values. That's why I was there. We met. Fell in love. She was a goddess. She was my rock. Because all women are goddesses. And rocks. In Tony's books. And blokes are a bit. Crap. Like Tony. That's the deal. Anyway. Her cartilage went. Snap. It happens. So she quit. And we had two kids. Great kids. Rufus and. Ruby. They gave us heartaches. Cos kids do that. But they were. Great kids. Or have I? Said that already.
"You need a heart transplant," the surgeon says. He looks in his pocket. "Oh look. I've got a spare one. That's handy. No need to bother. With the waiting. List." I come round. My scar is pulsing. Cos that's what scars do. The doctors give me anti-rejection drugs. They don't work. Everyone still hates me. But I feel different. Like there's another person inside me. It doesn't feel different to. Anyone else. Cos it's a plot device. That's been used. Many times. Before.
Lara stirs beside me. We make love for the first. Time in months. We do it again 10. Minutes. Later. And 10 minutes. After that. Lara acts like she's got better things to do. But I know she wants me. Really. Cos she's my angel.
"Why did you encourage? Rufus to leave college. And become a. Stand-up comedian," she says.
"Cos we've all got to follow. Our dreams."
"But he's obviously. Not going to. Make it. With Tony writing his. Gags."
Ruby tells me. We ought to save the environment. That sounds like a good. Idea. We join Plane Bonkers. To join the readers. Protesting. Against the plot. I lie down in a field. Keith arrests me. Even though it's miles off. His beat. "What's going on?" he says. Good question.
"Take six months off. To find yourself," the Super orders me. There's not much. To find. I grow my hair. Wear tight jeans. Shoplift.
"You're just. A cliche, Dad," Rufus says. I want to tell him. Tony got rich. By cliches. But I don't. Because although. I love him. We're not that close. That's another. Tony father. And son. Cliche. Instead I say, "I feel different." He looks different. Too. He's going bald. In one chapter. He's now a manager at B&Q. His single-mother girlfriend. Is pregnant. Surely he hasn't become. More grown-up. Than me. Oh. He has.
I pester Lara for more sex. "I don't want another teenager," she sobs. "I want my real man back. Please leave." Desperate. Is how I feel. My rock has abandoned me. I go and see my own Dad. Salt of the. Earth. Dad. He doesn't say much. Cos salt. Of the earth dads don't. But I know what. To do. I find the grave. Of the 19-year-old. Villain. Who donated me. His heart. I don't know why. But this crap catharsis has changed me. Cos that's what crap catharses do.
"Please take me back," I beg Lara. "I don't even care that you. Might have shagged that numpty. Martin. While we were. Separated. I understand your pain. I am now grown-up. Let's be one another's rock. Again. We can dance. In Argentina."
"Oh George," she sobbed, holding me tight. "Let's start over. With someone other. Than Tony. Writing. About us."

Digested read, digested: If only Tony had.


My Take : A very good piece since Parson's Man & Boy! Reflects the usual household dilemmas, parts and parcels of life. Touching indeed. More about moving on and acceptance of who we are and who we were meant to be.

Rating : 7.5/10

1.1 : Genesis

1. overpriced

2. pancakes

3. cat

4. love <3 5. close encounter

6. cloudy eyed

7. sorry iceland

8.1. maths exam in 7 hours time. :(

i shit you not.....

1.0 : Absolute zero

I've tried maintaining this facade for way too long and it's unfortunate to say that this feeling is overwhelming. There's been absolutely no transparency whatsoever left anymore. And now, the time slowly ticking away as every breath i take and it knock me down so hard until nothing can help me regain consciousness. I'm feeling this....

X X X X X

mood : patient
current location : dreamland
ear food : there is, boxcar racer

As tweeted, its really taking forever for the servers all around to start recognizing my custom domain that i've just purchased over the weekends. I have this feeling that something had went wrong somewhere or is it just me? I dont know.

However, when i try to excess my blog homepage through blogger, a message keeps appearing saying the same thing all over and over again ; 'your blog is in transition. It usually takes at most 3 days before it is all around the internet'. I know i can be very impatient sometimes but how long does it usually takes?

I just cant see myself blogging on my domain just yet.....

X X X X X

In a mere 3 weeks time, my A-Level course is done/finished/completed/closed/wrapped/'habis'/etc etc. Sometimes, i just cant bear the fact that we're coming close to the end and it genuinely felt that we have just started the whole route. It has been a dream. A dream i outmostly don't wish to wake up from only because the reality is far too terrorizing that i can ever take.

And soon, it's all over. No turning-backs. No re-do's. No refunds! I can only wish for another dream like this. Heh ;)

X X X X X

Hello gorgeous day, i had a pleasant surprise this morning when i woke only to find out that you were if any other words, prettier than before and i certainly wished to hell i get to spend today peacefully with non other than, maths! Hah :)

My Minute Bowl of Sweet Sunshine

the internet connection in my room has officially kicked the bucket and the hunger has already beginning to take its toll on me....

and the last time i had my shower was yesterday morning. ohh did i mention that im currently using my next door neighbour's laptop to excess the internet while he was out there in the nowhere studying for his coming law paper AND at the same time, im munching away a good ol' malaysian roadside burger? ;) damn the humanity! sweeet

mood : enjoying =)
ear food : jenny was a friend of mine, the killers

chill @ IceRoom

reminder to self :

"Just remember that the sun shines after a storm and after every storm, there is a rainbow..."
@ goingkookies thank you very much! ;)

mood : happy! =) finally......
ear food : snowed under, keane

Binder's Doodles

i'd like spending some time of my own to just sit back and enjoy the show while other people dwell with their patheticness of life. because im all over it.... ;)

just finished reading a book that i bought last month. havent got time recently and its been a while since my previous read and thought that it was quite good. nothing particular to be ommmph-ed of. hmmmm lets see whats next.. maybe french milk?

still searching for the wonders of malaysia currently- well food of course! malaysia, land of everything great but politics. but now the power of politics are soo great that it affects everything but food. so basically theres really nothing else that's left to be wonder-ed besides food.

to do list -
1. read more books. aim at least 2 more by the end of the year
2. eat more good food.
3. save more money@!
4. update update update!
5. live life to its fullest!

im genuinely enjoying my life now! i dont see why i shouldnt... ;)

Notes for Friday

surely as always, i need to take some load off my mind for a little bit and have some quality time of my own to chill before i go completely berserk for my upcoming written cum listening cum understanding paper in a fortnight time which i have absolutely no idea how it works. im starting to lose control for a second here but it was all momentarily however i gotta feeling that it will be off the rail in a matter of seconds. but im still standing, for the moment...



maths paper was 'awesome' today. cant say that it was significantly easy, it wasnt but i can betcha it wasnt that hard as well. i can only wish i didnt screw this up again. right now, there's paper products all over my bed, under my bed, all over and under my mountain of dirty clothes, on my shoes, my laptop keyboard etc etc. being a full time eleventh hour student is really something disastrous. notes, reduced-time of my own, and assorted fucks - but what the fuck right? c'est la vie! sigh

im currently very pleased with my own time-management. although it suck all the way to the roof but i like it very much, still ;)

last but not least, im getting very lazy these few days and dont expect too much from me, at much least, anything at all from me. :(

p/s : if you're wondering where's 18-3, why dontcha give this a look?

p/p/s : last night i dreamt of having the perfect moment of my life. nono it wasnt like spending the night with jessica alba or megan fox. its an early morning wake with a breakfast basket by the side: brown toast, juicy-tender bacon and eggs with thick black coffee, creamed.


so tell me how this is not perfect? ;)

Please

i just spent some time of my own going through a handful of calculus & trigonometry in honour of my upcoming maths paper on thursday. come to think of it, if i spend at least 3 hours a day study consistently it might even work out : a ticket to mit! :) however the evidence suggest that that would rather be very optimistic to the point of stupidity ;)

mood : back-on-track! :)
ear food : gravity, sara barellies

tweeeeeetssss

finally i switched to twitter after months of frustration for sticking religiously to plurk :)

however, i will not use twitter for the following :
1. as a replacement for my blog(!) i refuse to regard my tweets as entries for my blog, ever.
2. as an excuse for me for not blogging consistently. updates on my tweets are merely random thoughts that occurred out of the randomness of life and has no effect whatsoever
3. also, as a tool so i can go around and say fuck you to other plurk users. no i dont do shit like that

lastly, click here for 18-2 if you're wondering where is it. i havent got time to go get the camera, pull out the memory card, stick it inside my laptop, flick the mouse, click it, wait 20 seconds and finally upload it all here.

p/s : do follow me on twitter- its twitter.com/jtspat...alternatively, by following my blog works as well ;)

18-1

the birthday cake that we made/ i was in charge of the green-wasabi-like cylindrical shape on the side of the cake. ;)

happy 18th zh!! more photos are coming up real soon =)

on a sidenote, i really wish to hell i didnt attend my test yesterday. i could've helped in avoiding a major catastrophe which has a well-adverse effect on all of us. sigh

anyway, the oral test was a pain in the ass. some random chick missed her 7.30am session and decided that she could play boss and joined our 11am session, which of course led to the delay in our cabut time. we were supposed to leave the place by 12.30 but ended up locked inside the hall until a quarter past one.

....and i think i might have caused a member of my group to failed her test. i was too harsh on her while debating. she panicked and went completely speechless for almost a minute whole(!)

god help me...........;)

Hands Down

mood - thoughtful
ear food - ur so gay, katy perry

hands down, this must be the most thoughtful day of me that i've ever been. im doing just fine considering the fact that i will be having my finals officially starting next week. some drama happened during the course of last week which is totally unnecessary to be mentioned here, also zh's birthday bash is coming up real soon (!) just a few more hours to go and we're all getting wayy too excited already. i've wasted too much time i dont have right now with all the excuses i gave just to get away from all of it and im sick of it. although i still feel being loved, cared and cherished both from close proximity and remotely, i do from time to time feel the emptiness envelopes me whole. i just dont feel to good these days. enough said. -the other day during the weekends, i came into realising something that i thought all these while i figured out : apparently theres much more than goodbye that i had left to say. which eventually made me regretted the decision of not going to the airport that day. right now, i stupid phone call is all i need and also what i will not get. -fine product of hypertext worked well with me but not anymore. i just dont see the point of checking grammar and spelling mistakes while i blog anymore. not to mention the originality of it. its just a bunch of bullshit crap of six year old. the new midset works well for me though but i'll never know for sure right. its just a temporary thingy. -i really wanna let it be, just let it all go on its own and not piss and moan how fucked things are but right now, i'll just write it all down because i know, one day i can be free. just like the paper boats we let go in the water years back. it was awesome....

in the meantime, i'll just have to keep my hands down...

Tales from The Other Side

as always, im too deep inside my own shit that i'd tend to forget about the upcoming finals which will basically determine my future,...or not (shit i have this feeling that im beginning to talk like my high school principal oucchhhh). sometimes, i feel that theres a line in everything i do. for instance whenever i blog about something : dont cross the line(!) which is rather pathetic actually. its like a moment where i try to stand up with all my guts and strength only to fall back into my own naivety. looking back to the rate of me becoming somebody someday, i'd rather wish upon the moon for the sun to appear green in colour the next day.... or something like that. as promised from my previous previous sub previous post, here's cocktales...plus added incentive ;)

1. "is your muffin buttered?" - "nope. im waiting for the milk from your tits for the butter. apparently it still takes some time. no worries though" crapped by Kang

2. lynn tweeted about how she destroyed her mom's kitchen instead of baking cookies which i found rather amusing.

3. recently theres a sohai pandemic that had erupted amongst ourselves where in the event of nothing at all, we'd call each other 'sohai' which really exudes the sohainess of us all in one shot. all of it started out a few days back following a cc incident where i really dont wanna talk about it anymore. until now, 'sohai' is our only call signs. ;) go sohainism!

4. we're so fucking addicted to gambling already! thanks to a fucking fat dude who has absolute zero driving skills. he perfectly manoeuvred his shiny honda city up a sidewalk right below our room and we swear to god its just extraordinary! its like he purposely parked his car up there! talking about the lack of parking spaces..heh ;) 10 seconds after the initial impact, we called up a friend and have him bought us 4D of the city's registration number. although we won nothing, but he excitement is there. during lunch yesterday, a dude walked up to us and shoved us a bunch of lottery tickets....and we couldnt resist the temptation ;)

5. recently, i've been eating alot. i dont know why. dont ask me.


6. some time during call of the week, i donated blood for the first time. it was an awesome experience! enormously due to the fact that it took me more than half an hour to fill up a packet of blood. look at my right arm compared to my left. its practically blue-er. ;)

6. 2 hours of waiting is really something fucked up. with absolutely nothing to do, we introduced over 4000 chemicals into our lungs for a duration of more than 90 minutes.

7. "hello. good evening sir, this is agent simmons from alertpay. Is this mr.ng wai leung? sir, im really sorry to be the one telling you this sir but your bank account have been suspected involved in money-laundering sir. and your bank account has been terminated effective immediately sir. and of course, im here to tell you to fuck off! " best prank call award 09. ;)

8. i wont be attending the oral test im having this coming wednesday. im sick. i can tell when im sick. its when my head dont feel straight. kthnxbai

last but not least, click clickity tweeted about how much she loves honey....cuteness achieved! you go girl! ;)

Determination

i used to think that as long as we're committed into doing something, it doesnt really matter how much effort we throw in for making it work out because at the end of the day, the end result is what matters the most. its like basically saying that 'im losing the first fight, the last round was fixed from the start'. apparently, i was wrong. i dont think like that anymore. now, i'd like to see myself as someone who actually cares about something he really wish for and still, dont do shit about it, but in the end still gets it.

coming next week is my oral test and i cant even begin to describe why i signed up for the exam. must be the pressure well youll never know. funny how candidates taking the test attend classes for at least one and a half year for that similar test and i didnt even spent a second in any of those classes. the written paper is due next month and i already can see myself failing it badly. i've spent a shitload of time browsing through materials related to the test and found none. ironic enough, my writing skills had deteriorate to some degree thanks to short-texting messages services and late night mamak sessions and i can bet my ridiculous coming allowance that if i still manage to pass my upcoming writing paper, it must be the ink from my pen are magically produced. or he/she marking it is partially blind.

maths paper is coming real soon and i still suck at it but still, theres some nice people that i know of offered me some help. i really do need help, pronto.

classes were blur as usual, largely due to the fact that i hardly attend any. i was beginning to have the feeling that my lecturers are disowning me which is rather saddening. i used to be a good student. i used to. but that was wayy long ago. right now i gotta feeling that if i were to bump into any of my lecturers out the on the streets, they wouldnt even recognise me anymore.

recently, it seems that i can no longer blog in total transparency. i got loads to say but i cant find the means to say it all out. theres 3 pending post that i yet to publish and i kinda got stucked in the middle. lack of brain cells seems to be the problem here but no worries, im gonna get over it soon.

soon, it will be the end of our course. i cant believe a year and a half came and went by so fucking fast. seems like its only yesterday i meet them all. the funny, the damn cool, the crazy and also the fucker.

nineteen is a huge number. its like popping pills of prescription from the counter and down all of it one shot. its suicide. but fuck it...., i lived! thats what determination is all about.... ;)