01.16am

01:16 am-

I'm all alone. in my room. standing. looking forward for something. which I don't really know what it is. the soft is dim. the lights are okay. windows. I glance. the wind is blowing my way. so calm. yet so dull. cold. moist maybe. nothing more. a spark of hope perhaps? maybe not.

I pull my chair. sit back. switch on my laptop. bluntly tapping on the keyboard. with mixed feelings. earlier invitations were turned down on. *slap my forehead* halfway doing my maths thingy. which the questions borrowed from Yong. answers from Zheng Hang. life is fucking easy. with friends like them ;)

*flashbacks*

• monday morning blues? hell no. was extremely happy. I woke up knowing I wasn't late for anything. *there's nothing for me today to look forward to*
• had lunch. it was the best lunch I had in my 18 years of life *being happy*
• did some light studying. wasn't much at all. :)
• top geared for an hour. as always it brought laughter. loads of laughter into me.
• napped for almost 3 hours. I can feel my heart beating steadily. as I slowly slumbered into the realm of fantasy and unreal possibilities.
• woke up knowing I was too lazy to have dinner. napped for another 30mins. ;)
• woke up. nudged by him. he told me something again today. which I found really interesting. something like whales have 3 testicles LOL
• had some light studying again. maybe more this time.
• wondering whether is AS really do-able :s I am still confused.

I flick on my iPod. listening to Jimmy Eat World. halfway through the first song, I'm at ease. it's like I'm having a great time. by doing nothing. I tap the 'next' button. *with the shuffle mode on* Bloc Party. even better. I keep listening. closing my eyes. imagining.

I had enough. I am walking aimlessly in my room right now. I couldn't think. a slight headache is occuring right now. maybe milder. and then. there's the knock on the door. supper maybe? can this all be a dream? I'm tired of it. waking up is harder when you're already awake. too bad its the reality that was the dream. If so, can I wake up now? I want the 'dream' back.