Off

recently, too many things have had happened concurrently that were beyond the limitation of the minuscule mind of mine to digest and instead of working harder, it regurgitates it all out into a pile of sludge that looks nothing less like a jar of expired cough syrup. but in the end, im surprised that im still surprised by the fact that maybe for some unknown reasons, my lack of judgment and my inability to see things as simple as they seem to be are after all been pulling the strings behind this shit. in face of such epiphany, i dont quite sure what to say anymore. its been 2 months since i left the sanctuary whereby i chilled for 6 months without having to worry about anything and suddenly, im not quite sure how to do this anymore. or perhaps its just me ? in light of this, some would blissfully argue that im doing just fine, but others would reluctantly object.... but anyway, this is not supposed to be a ranting post, instead an update. some kinda sign showing that im still alive despite having abandoned my blog for more than 2 weeks....

on a sidenote, i lighted a lighter on fire in a restaurant 5 days ago...the poor thing combusted in way that was beyond any lighter had endured and in the end, exploded with the most mind-blowing explosion witnessed by mankind. R.I.P Lighter !

The day I meet the coolest guy on planet Earth...

Enough said.

Talking To Strangers

i used to think that my inability to start random conversations with strangers will one day be the death of me. well, not anymore. turns out that it was a good thing after all when last week while waiting for a friend for lunch by the campus rear gate, against everything i've ever stood for, i walked up to a complete stranger (a-6-feet-tall-nice-looking-african-guy) who was at that moment, smoking a mild 7 cigarette with his fingers tapping rhythmically on the virtual qwerty keypad of his htc smartphone and said 'hi'. nothing fancy. just a simple 'hi' with a smile on my lips and never for a moment in my life it occur to me that the word 'hi' can prompt such destructive and perpetual catastrophic effect on the soul of a 19 year old...


there was once a time where i don't even look at the crowd of people walking to/from class as i passed them by back in college. it would be an exceptional sight to see me lifting my head off the ground even just for a second and by all means, if someone got that on still photography, it would sell like hell. some would argue that da vinci perhaps painted a different version of the mona lisa on the ground and i was preoccupied in search of that piece of fine lost art that i haven't had the time to lift my head up and catch a glimpse of the world. some say im just shy.. wtf?


truth is, i just don't talk much. reason? i piss people off the moment i start talking. its an unusual yet stupefying ability that God let me have in order to make the world a better place :)


now. time has changed. as a law student in the making, i need to talk more and converse into random conversations with random people more and by all means, piss more people off at the same time too...for im a multitasker. i talk and piss people off the same time :)


anyway, the conversation below is exactly what happened next after i said 'hi'...


Guy : Hey man. Wassup? How are you doing man? *insert deep african accent*
Me : Im doing great. What about you? .... *went on for a moment*
Guy : Blaaa Blaaaa Blaaaa
Me : Blaaa Blaaa Blaaa
....
....
....
....
and finally,
Guy : Hey my friend, do you think it is possible if I borrow 3000 bucks from you? I need to pay for my tuition fees to the university and my account is having a minor problem at the moment. The international exchange rate is not....err err steady, at the moment so they can't process my account yet. So my friend, what do you say?
Me : Errr... 3000 bucks in Zimbabwean dollars? 






never a dull moment

satuday..

12.46am- ayer keroh...
just a second ago, i was curled up semiperfectly beneath the immense warmness of my toy-train-print-comforter digesting the final few pages of existentialism without realizing that supper has been unwillingly discounted from the list-of-things-to-do-before-bedtime indefinitely. now its almost 1 and somehow i just dont feel like going out, (must be the weird noises coming from the hallway) despite the fact that im horribly famished and its also saturday night, -no one stays at home on saturday nights, that of course unless you're a gay/faggot/justin bieber's fan- 


i genuinely dont know if im actually transgressing the saturday night act for not leaving my room immediately but honestly, i dont really care..


i just dont really know how to put these in words but right now, the petite act of putting on a pair of shorts, a dirty old tshirt and drag my heavy body to the mamak seems impossibly impossible at the moment. my head seems heavy but my eyes are eternally conscious for im trying too hard to not to sleep and also at the same time i feel like the whole world is falling down right on my face simultaneously. 


plus, my roomie's busy packing all his belongings right now as he's leaving tomorrow first thing in the morning (imma miss you dude!) and the sound of all the grinding and crushing and crumbling and scraping from books, laptop cooler pads to multicoloured foldable laundry basket is circumventing me from understanding the last chapter of existentialism, the role of failure in success. 


anyway, screw saturday nights. imma pour myself a drink right now and enjoy youtube videos...


speaking of which, recently i came across this really cute girl on youtube who posts comical videos of everyday life of hers. really awesome stuff...








...saturday nights are always awesome!..


..if you know what to do ;)

..is earned, not given

the word of the day is happiness :)

Zombie in action

-its almost 9 and im still reading existentialism, totally disregarding the fact that i still have an on-going assignment due next month :)

i was a dead animal the whole day- i did not sleep well last night and apart from that, i slept with my contact lenses intact the whole whats-left-of-a-night until late this morning. and when i woke up, i couldn't open my eyes! later on, i walked to the food court with massive bloodshot eyes and gotten myself quite an enormous amount of glares and stares from passers-by, with their looks as if were asking me, "dude have you been drinking? are you drunk? are you gonna kill me anytime soon?" 

"no. no. and yes if you dont keep your eyes somewhere else", i answered. but of course, they couldn't hear me. 

i hate it when i don't get enough sleep, i'll get irritated by anything and everything and the simplest of things. even when people walking behind of me, i'll get very frustrated. take for instance, whilst i was walking to the food court earlier straight outta bed, this dude was walking closely behind me bust tapping on his cell's keypad and i already felt like yelling, " dude wtf cant you walk somewhere else instead??" 

also my wifi was fucked and that alone added to my pile of misery and in turn got me even more aggravated. felt like throwing my laptop off the second floor. seriously i was unimaginably annoyed! 

with my judgement of rationalization bearing nearly zero, i went to the pc fair held inside my uni campus and bought myself a printer and a usb wifi for 150 bucks. turns out that the usb wifi was totally unnecessary because my wifi is working fine! one of my housemates did not pay the internet bill for more that 3 weeks already so the line was disconnected. 

you can only imagine my frustration right now (no you can't)! felt like eating people for breakfast tomorrow! omm nom nom nom......

i walked like a zombie the whole day. i acted like a zombie the whole day. i felt like a zombie the whole day. better still, i was vaguely aware of what i had for lunch and totally oblivious of whether or not i've taken dinner. just a couple of minutes ago, i managed to pull myself together and actually for a moment, acted like a perfectly imperfect human being. also, it just came to my realization that tomorrow's monday!

oh shit it's monday!

the talk of the cock

i've always wanted to be a columnist if i grow up.....(notice the rather irrelevant conditional. due to the nature of how i've chosen to live my life, the adverse would be irrelevant as well, but what the heck right?)

maybe write about cars -performance parts, tried-tested-proven-over-the-head-theories and eventually strip jeremy clarkson's column off the sunday times-, and jokes -sarcasm! which is unfortunately not something that i am good at. maybe people just dont get me- or even maybe something about law -considering the fact that i'll be doing law for the next 5 years or so so why not? anyway, i'll probably turn the facts into a burlesque of justice when elements of heavy sarcasm were introduced-... 

even when i was 8, when half of the class wanted to be doctors, i wanted to be a writer. as a columnist. or maybe even publish my own books if i get the chance. (notice the rather appropriate conditional. this is due to the fact that the adverse is really irrelevant, not to mention preposterous!) 

but recently, i was told to give up writing (directly, but not as a whole). i was daunted! i mean how can i let go writing? its just wrong. later on, to add insult to injury, he majestically proceeds to claim that my writings are grotesque and awful choices of words, and utterly ridiculous. and just like that, my heart sank. he used to be an avid reader of my blog and now, such product of air and vocal chords interactions, like the tip of a spear, dipped in deadly poison, pierced through my heart exceedingly. 

truth be told, i really adore fine writings very very much. as they would say, "a picture paints a thousand words". i'd say, "a word can write out the heart of the painter". 

i've started this blog out since november 2008 and posted over 200+ posts and over time, gained the trust of 16 wonderful and awesome people, who subsequently writes just as good as me, better even! over 500+ comments were received & replied and the total unique visitors that found their way to this humble site racked up to 17000+.. i know. my blog doesn't really have amazing vital stats but heck, its still up and running.

used to be a time where bloghoppers would come and say stuff like, "hey your blog so not popular why go buy a .com? act like damn popular only, &%$#*!"

writing is really not something easy. when you write for people to read, you dont feel the satisfaction, bliss, atonement, fulfillment, relief and more importantly, achievement. when you write what you wanna write, people fuck you, hard. jesus.

recently i came across an awesome blogger who wrote in his blog, "writing is not for the fainthearted". 

HOW FUCKING TRUE!!!